'Extreme' Punishment

I was watching the news this morning and heard about a mother who put up a picture of her daughter with a red X over her mouth on the daughter's facebook page as punishment for being disrespectful toward her mother.  The caption for the photo said that the daughter would no longer be allowed on facebook or her cell phone and encouraged viewers of the picture to ask why, as the daughter was required by her mother to answer all requests for further information.  This was vilified along with the dad who put 9 rounds into his daughter's laptop because she was disrespectful toward him on facebook.  Both examples were called extreme punishments.

I had to laugh because the end result was the same for both girls.  They admitted that what they had done was wrong and that being punished the way they were made them understand that they couldn't act the way they had.  So the so called 'extreme' punishment changed the behavior of the girls.

When the story about the dad was first on the news, I remember hearing 'experts' calling the father's behavior abusive toward his daughter.  I heard the same thing this morning with the mom and facebook.  It seems to me that every time a parent tries to discipline a child, society calls it 'abuse'.

Here's my question: if I'm not allowed to spank my child and I'm not allowed to use methods that may be deemed as 'extreme' to curb the disrespectful and cruel behavior my child is exhibiting, then what do you want me to do?  It's not acceptable for the child to be rude and disrespectful to other people.  It's not acceptable to have a child in public that can't control his impulses when he's over the age of five or six.  So what's left for me to do?  Put the child in the 'time out' corner?  Once a kid reaches those teenage years, the 'time out' corner doesn't work anymore.

I think that discipline should be loving and structured and, in some cases, extreme.  Children need to learn that certain behavior is not only unacceptable but inexcusable as well.  If my daughter called me horrible names on facebook, I might do the exact same thing the mother on the news did.  It got through to the child didn't it?

Discipline should be consistent and never given in a moment of anger.  I'm not saying that we should all beat our kids with belts because that's what they deserve.  A child should never have a mark left on his body because of a punishment.  But spanking a toddler because he's doing something that could be potentially dangerous is completely different.  If I tell 2.0 to leave the electrical socket alone and he goes back to stick his finger in it, I spank his little rear end and take him away from the socket.  I also explain to him that the socket could kill him if he sticks his finger in it.  Does he understand at this point?  No.  But it's good practice for me so that I'll have the habit of explaining the punishment to him when he does understand.

When 2.0 bites me (and it's obvious that it's willful and not an indication of hunger), I bite back.  I don't bite hard enough to break the skin or even leave a mark, just hard enough for him to feel the edge of my teeth against his skin so he knows not to do it again.  And you know what?  He doesn't bite me anymore out of frustration.  I don't think that's abusive or 'extreme'.  If 2.0 bites another kid, he or she will bite back and will not show restraint.

Maybe society should stop telling parents how to discipline.  What they tell us to do obviously doesn't work.  Have you seen the way some children act today?  That's society at work for you.