I always believed that once my son turned 2 that the 'terrible twos' would start. This is not true. Apparently, this starts as soon as he enters his second year, which means on his first birthday. Or at least that's the case with my little guy.
Temper tantrums have started. As soon as I pull him away from the dangerous activity that he's doing, he throws himself backward and starts to scream and cry. It doesn't matter to him what direction he's facing when he throws himself down like this, so I've been butted in the face, teeth, and nose by the back of his head. He also slipped out of my hands and ended up throwing himself down on the floor and banged his head against the carpet. He's started screaming when he doesn't get what he wants and he goes to touch something he knows he shouldn't (like the now covered electrical outlets or Mommy's computer) and watches me get closer to tell him no before touching it as I get to him.
Thank goodness I read as much as I do. I'm prepared for these tests of my boundaries. I've read Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson. I've also read The Way Of The Wild Heart by John Eldredge and It's A Boy by Dr. Michael Thompson . I know that 2.0 is doing these things because it's normal for his development. I know that I need to be consistent in my discipline and to make sure I'm not yelling at him or disciplining while angry. I am a strong believer in spanking and I have used it. I spank open handed on the covered bottom twice with a small amount of force. It's to remind my son that he shouldn't do that, not to harm him. Spanking has worked very well. I also swat at his hands when he's touching something dangerous. If 2.0 goes for the DVD rack (before it was toddlerproofed), he got his hand spanked because pulling on the DVD rack could result in serious injury and I wanted him to understand that he couldn't touch it.
I also know that this isn't personal toward me. This actually has very little to do with me. If 2.0 throws the rest of his banana on the floor and smiles and laughs, that's just part of learning that when he throws something on the floor, it stays down there until Coco eats it. If he smacks the spoon with his oatmeal on it away and splatters it on the tray of his high chair or the floor, he isn't trying to make my life more difficult. He's trying to assert his independence and he's getting frustrated. That's understandable.
No one is perfect. I drop the ball on my discipline sometimes. I've disciplined angry. I don't spank angry, but I've disciplined while upset. I've been inconsistent with my discipline. I've let 2.0 pull all the DVDs out from under the TV because I was too tired to get up and stop him, only to have the energy to stop him the next day and tell him no (which resulted in a temper tantrum and a headbutt to my nose). But do I try to be consistent? You bet I do.
If you have a little boy, I recommend the books I listed above. They provide wonderful insights to the development and character of little boys. Dr. Dobson applies his book on boys to all kids and talks about single moms and grandparents. Dr. Thompson breaks down developmental milestones (such as this drive for independence) by age spans. John Eldredge breaks down birth to death in the character of man in The Way Of The Wild Heart so that as a mom, I can understand what it means for my son to be my Beloved Son at this time in his life. They are all wonderful books and deserve a read.
I know that my style of discipline will evolve and change as 2.0 gets older. I know that I'm going to find things that work and things that don't. I just have to be flexible and remind myself that this difficult time shall pass.
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