Dear First Time Mom

In honor of Mother's Day, I feel the need to pass a few tidbits of information on to other First Time Moms.  Please read this post and feel lighthearted and laugh a little bit.

• Pregnancy is the last time that everything is about you.  
• A birth plan is simply a wish list for your labor and birth experience.  While I'm sure it would be nice if you could give birth in a warm pool of water with aromatherapy candles lit around the tub and Enya playing in the background, that's probably not going to happen.  However, important things like wanting your spouse to cut the umbilical cord and only wanting a c-section in case of emergency, should be in there.
• Contractions hurt.  While that's not a surprise to you right now, they hurt more than you think they do when the moment comes.  They hurt more if you're laboring overnight.  They hurt more than menstrual cramps.  Be prepared for the worst pain you can think of times about one million.
• That being said, if you want an epidural, by all means get one.  You don't have to be a hero, you don't have to suffer because your mother didn't have one or your best friend didn't have one.  Just get it if you think you'll want it.  Get it if you're laboring overnight so you can sleep.  By the way, the anesthesiologist you get at night will not be a nice person.  Just be prepared for that too.
• That burning sensation when you push is a good thing.  Just push through it and don't be afraid of it.
• Don't worry about pooping during delivery.  Everyone will tell you that you didn't even if you did.
• After you push a baby through that tiny opening down below, you will hurt.  Take your motrin when the nurses bring it to you.  Trust me, you'll feel better if you do.  Plus a warm shower is a wonderful thing.  Enjoy it while you can.  
• Expect that post partum bleeding is going to be really bad compared to your period.  Use the pads they give you at the hospital, they will bring you more and probably send you home with a surplus if you ask.
• You will sweat and probably smell really bad for a few days to a week after delivery.  Use baby powder.  It's wonderful.  :)
• You can't hold a newborn baby too much.  No matter what anyone says, you can't do it.  Hold that little one all the time if you want.  He or she won't be that small forever.  
• Breastfeeding is a very good thing if you can do it.  You might have a hard time with it at the hospital, but when you get home it might be easier.  If you need help, ask for it.  If you just find you can't do it, don't beat yourself up over it.  As long as the baby is fed, life is good.  
• Your baby is getting enough.  Trust me, he or she is getting plenty if he or she is growing.  But I counted wet and dirty diapers for two weeks.  Nothing wrong with that either.  
• If your baby wants to sleep in a swing for eight weeks, then go with it.  The point is the baby is asleep.  
• Sleeping when the baby sleeps isn't going to happen all the time.  That's okay.  Just realize that no one cares if your house is clean when they come over to bring food for you or ask if you need something.  We don't care if your clothes are clean or if you've had a shower.  But if you want us to stay long enough for you to shower or want us to help with laundry, then you just need to ask.  If you need newborn diapers that you forgot to get before the baby came, ask and you shall receive.
• Secondhand clothes are awesome.  They are softer, worn in the right places, and practically brand new in some cases.  If they are stained or torn, throw them out.  Otherwise, don't worry about it.  Clothes are clothes at this point and there's no way your child will wear them all.
• While being happy that your child is making every milestone, don't forget to enjoy every day with him or her.  It really does go by too fast.  Before you know it, you'll be blowing out that first birthday candle and wondering where your baby went.  
• Speaking of birthdays, you don't need to throw a fancy party.  Have whatever party you want or don't have one at all.  Whatever you decide will be right.  
• Be prepared for your relationship with your spouse to suffer a little bit.  My husband equated the first year of parenting our first one with the first year of our marriage.  Both weren't very good as we had to feel our way around and get to know each other.  The second year gets better.  We don't know about the third one yet or what happens when another child is thrown in the mix.  Just be prepared.
• And while we're talking about your spouse, yes sex will feel the same again eventually.  Be prepared for pain the first few times and please, don't have sex for the first six weeks.  I didn't listen to my doctor and it wasn't what I hoped it would be.  But it does get better so don't give up.  

Happy Mother's Day!